im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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