did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
