if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
