you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
