She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
