Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
