I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
