people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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