Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
