Moan for me like Helen Keller
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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