I just cut my nipple shaving
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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