My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
