The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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