my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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