There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
