I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
