He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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