We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
