their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
