my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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