And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
