Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
