would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
