i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
