Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
