It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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