6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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