I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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