After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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