He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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