Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
