Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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