Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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