Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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