Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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