Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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