Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How naked do you want me to be?
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