Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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