wat bout pragnant strippers??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
