Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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