I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize