weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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