We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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