who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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