Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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