so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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