Jerry, you need to find god
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Randomize
