everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
