brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
