Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
