whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
