Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
