I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
