ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
