Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
