I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
