p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
