She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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