Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
