So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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