wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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