omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
