It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
