Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize