How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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