The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You may now shotgun with the bride
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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