Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
