If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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