There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I touched a dick in church today
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
