Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
