5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
