this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
