I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
