so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
