I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
