im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize